Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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