My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
