Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
