Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You were trust falling into bushes
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize