it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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