U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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