She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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