can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
