This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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