I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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