I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
