Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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