Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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