Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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