Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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