if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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