All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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