YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize