I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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