We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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