at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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