so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize