i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
