I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
