I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
