I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
