Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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