I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
