either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
