The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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