it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize