Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
