you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
