On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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