Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
