I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
