PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You pole danced in your parka.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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