I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize