I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
