I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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