so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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