i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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