You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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