I accidentally had phone sex last night
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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