Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
