I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
