Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
