Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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