u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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