the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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