farters have to be the big spoon...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
