If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
