She said her name was "party"
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
