found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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