Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
