I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
third nipple confirmed
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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