but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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