Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
