Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
