Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
